SOLACE
You’d attest to the fact that most times we don’t get to have the most things we need and desire readily at our disposal. More like an imaginary hurt; not getting to study at that choice/dream school you’ve envisaged, not getting that dream job, inability to meet certain physical needs and all. This happens, not just with things, but also in our relationships too; how those people we choose and cherish don’t even get it — It’s somewhat common and funny. This is not just funny why? it comes with some grief too.
The truth is human needs/wants are insatiable, although all these needs may be justifiable, the humbling part of it is that we won’t always have it all readily at our disposal. And no human is immune to this! Funny enough, the satisfaction of a man is in the fulfillment and accomplishment of his next need. This is how we are wired; we’ll always seek for more & better. it, therefore, becomes an endless exploration. We must therefore find a safe landing in all these so that we keep our mental sanity. seeing that we can’t always get all Hence, the quest for Solace.
3 KEY GEMS TO FINDING SOLACE
1. Emotional Intelligence: This is actually the quality of managing yourself and keeping your calm even when things seem to get to you. It encapsulates your self-awareness, self-regulation, self-motivation, your empathy, and your natural social life.
You’ve got to be aware first of who you truly are; don’t fake stuff and lie to yourself. Know yourself, your strengths and weaknesses on matters, and your tendencies. Don’t fake it, be truthful to yourself. The greatest of all deception is lying to oneself. Be aware of yourself! Again, what happens to you per time is key and this is where regulation comes in. Have you ever been in a situation where you get to say I don’t even know what I’m doing? Yeah, you can relate to that right? exactly! it happens when they happen, when this happens it means that we’re are emotionally attached. The rule goes:
“As much as you can, never let “things” determine your Joy”
The moment that determines what elates you, then heartbreaks becomes inevitable. You don’t make yourself vulnerable to things. You’d probably want to ask me, what about my relationships with people?
The rule goes:
“As much as you can, love people but trust them enough that they have tendencies to disappoint”
If the above will be applied, the crux of the discussion is that we must build strong self-will to counter the ups and downs that come with our living. What this suggests further is self-motivation. Yes! Motivate yourself even when what you’re seeing is not resonating with what you want. Keep faith over fear.
In furtherance, to understand emotions, you’ve got to be emphatic. Stand in the shoes of others when stuff happens to them. It’s a preparatory class for you! You’d absorb it well this way when it's your turn.
Your sanity is key. When kinds of stuff weigh you down, take a break to rejuvenate.
2. The discipline called FOCUS: The ability to keep your attention — Focus, is a discipline at its peak. We all need this quality. The world is becoming a place where it’s gradually becoming hard to keep focus. You get to see folks do kind of stuff abnormally and you ask why? the point is they lost focus!
Focus is a discipline we must maintain in seeking solace. There are no superhumans in the real-world phenomenon like we watch Batman, Superman in the movies. Although we’re super but maybe not in those hyperbolic heroic displays. What I’m trying this, everyone is a product of influence and we are very impressionable too and as such in the midst of all these will discipline will be key. Sometimes you shouldn't: have that conversation, watch that movie, argue on that matter, gist on that matter, hear what he/she said. Sometimes you might not need to hear everything thing and also in the same vein don’t tell people what they don’t need to know. Maintain FOCUS!
3. Positivity: We should maintain positivity, correct attitudinal dispositions circumstances notwithstanding. Although your mood will not always be welcoming at all times, even in that seemingly not joyous state, still have a view of things working out. What it does to us is that it keeps us happy. Of course, we know that whatever steals our happiness has a tendency of stealing all from us. Now I said happiness, Yes happiness! Happiness is the ease you feel per time. More like a momentary joy. It comes to every moment. We all need it — that joy for the moment. Note the phrase per time. That smile on your face, that soothing relief is needed per time to having solace. It would happen on the strength of being positive. All is well Is all that will be well should be what you profess. Maintain positivity.
Dear reader, maintaining solace is your responsibility. Nobody in the world has the capacity to give it to you. You’ll figure it out, fight for it. Writing this to you does not mean I’m immune to all these. Of course, this is birthed from experience. I have my passing throughs so do you. Managing them, therefore, is key for us to stay happy in the world; hence SOLACE.
